What is it that you want?
by feey
Summary: The Lord of the Dead could be so damned confusing at times... The myth of Persephone and Hades, told from Persephone's point of view.


He had been so mad when Hermes had come for me. He did not speak, not until I was just about to step up onto his chariot.

"So she does not add starving you to her list of crimes," he had said sarcastically, placing the odd fruit in my hand. It was a pomegranate, and I did not need to ask who he was talking about. He meant Mother, of course, who was probably shrilly denouncing him to Zeus, Hera, the winds; anyone who would listen, really.

And while I do admit- though only to myself and in the dark of the night- that Mother is overprotective, she had every right to be upset in this situation.

I absently picked the fruit open as I waited for Hermes to extricate the black stallions from the quarrel they had just gotten into; the beasts only behaved for him and Thanatos. I ate several seeds without really thinking about it, only realising what I had done later.

"Did you eat anything from the gardens of the dead?" Zeus had asked, weary from trying to find a solution to this. Technically, Mother had no say in my marriage; Zeus was my father, and he had approved it. But as she was the harvest goddess, Mother had more say than Thetis, for example, in matters of marriage.

I then had looked down at my juice stained fingers then, suddenly realising what I had destined myself to as I had waited. Mother wailed, and Zeus groaned. Vows and curses came pouring out of her mouth; I was shocked. Mother loved the world and creating new flowers and plants, seeing them grow; was my absence really enough to end this? Why should it be that way? After all, I had to grow up sometime.

"There will be a compromise!" Zeus thundered, drowning Mother out. "Half a year above, half below. Understood?"

"Will _he_ agree to it?" Mother had spat, her eyes flashing. Strange, I thought, how both refused to say the other's name. I also found it strange to be fought over in such a way.

"He will," Zeus promised, his voice low and threatening. I decided then that it was good that I was only the object of the fight, and not the ones fighting.

--

As I became more used to being Queen, he became more distant. Some days he looked at me in confusion, as if he wondered why I was still there. Other days he thundered through the halls, and I and the spirits both hid. The only one immune to his rages was Thanatos. And then he also ignored me completely.

It was so different, from my first stay in his kingdom, that night he had made me his in the most basic sense of marriage. He had been so passionate, so sure in his decision. Now it seemed as if he wrangled with some inner demon.

But then, the love had been implanted. Of course, by now it was supposed to have become a part of him, as natural love was, but things did not always work the way they were supposed to with him. So maybe he was fighting that emotion.

I did not want to think that was the case. He was stuck with me, as Aphrodite had so cruelly laughed. But the worst part was that I was beginning to actually like him, and in the middle of the night in the solitude of my room I even admitted that I might love him.

And now he was trying to forget me?

--

I had spent a greater part of the summer on my own, thinking. Mother had let me be, just happy that I was above ground.

In the end I decided to confront him, to end this build up of several years' worth of confusion and mixed feelings. I admitted now- but still only to myself in the middle of the night- that I loved him. But as his temper and mood swings continued, I did not know if I wanted to continue living with him. I knew that he was angry that Mother had taken me back, for he was selfish and did not want to share with anyone, but he had to grow up too. Maybe, if he no longer wanted me around, I could go back to living above ground permanently. It would not be ideal, for I did enjoy my time below, away from Mother's overprotective presence, but it would be better than dealing with him and his constant moods.

--

"Thanatos," I said to the pale god who greeted me as I arrived. "I need to speak to him." Thanatos just sighed.

"Good luck," was all he said. "He's in the small courtyard." I quailed inside, for that was his private courtyard, where he hated to be interrupted. But I merely nodded and left, not letting my nervousness betray her. I had to do this.

He was there, dark and moody as always. His eyes seemed too dark for his pale face, but the layers of shadows that always fell from the sharp angles obscured this somewhat. They flashed dangerously from behind his long hair, but I spoke before he could.

"Hades," I announced, with my voice quavering only somewhat. "This has got to stop. I cannot take this anymore. What is it that you want?" He walked closer to me, silent, but with an intrigued expression on his face. He stopped just before me, inspecting my face. I jutted out my chin, trying hard not to look scared. I was annoyed and wanted that to show.

As he watched her, I watched him. While Aphrodite could go on and on about how the angles in his face and pale skin made him look ugly, I did not think so. I found the very aquiline nose set between the high cheekbones very attractive, and his dark eyes, when they were not set in anger or annoyance, spoke of intelligence. I tried not to blush as I thought of this.

"Persephone," he asked mockingly, "What is it that you want?"

Damn him, I thought, for turning the question back. I had to answer him; he was king here. And then I smiled as well, thinking that I could get him just this once. He deserved to be trumped once.

I kissed him hard, pressing my hands against his chest. I could feel his surprise, but then he kissed me back, holding the back of my head with one hand and holding me tightly against him with the other.

When we stopped he was still holding me. I looked up at him and smiled softly.

"Your turn to answer," I said.

He smiled a real smile this time and held me tighter. His body was actually warm, and it felt good pressed against mine.

"I thought I had," he whispered.

And then he kissed me again.


End file.
